Did someone say pie?

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Introductory diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, currently level 68 Burglar, Gilrain

Dear Diary,

My name is Wynniekins Cutthroat, and I am a hobbit of the Shire. I like food, and I especially like food that I just stole from someone else. Saves me the effort of actually making munchies you see... I also like sleeping, and food...did I mention that I like food? What can I say, I'm a growing hobbit. And if you even think that I'm growing...sideways... Or that I might be a little PODGE! Let me just say that I'll stab you in the back and you won't even see me coming.

Because I'm a burglar. And unlike all the other lame hobbits in the Shire, I like adventures. And shinies. And shiny food... Eh...

I'm friends with elves (there's that Wyn person, and Squirrel...I mean Isquariel, and Gilerian is quite cool as well) and humans (well, one human...Ithilwen, she thinks she's a pro healer, but I know better) and I CAN'T STAND DWARVES!!! They are supposed to be small, but they are still taller than me, what's that all about?!

I currently quest in a place called Dunland, because people there are even lazier than my old gaffer and can't get anything done without a hobbit's help. If they think I give all the shinies I get while killing their enemies to them, they have another one coming... But they give me pies, and pies are good... Oh wait, someone's just called me to dinner... *runs off*

One hour later...

*rubs belly* That was really good... I've to give it to these ridiculously tall people, they do know how to cook. Though I'm not sure I want to know what that meat was... Gilerian told me that there's some things out there, that I might not wish to know. I think she was talking about her own cookery, but that's beside the point. Or maybe she just didn't want to explain to me why she has to have a whole menagerie of pets. She does too... Silly Lore-mistress...

Ithilwen (also known as Ithil or mini-moo or silly human) told me she got some sweet bling down in Stangard and suggested I should make haste and get there myself. Yeah right, why would I do that? I don't know if those Rohirrim will feed me! But in Galtrev...people basically worship the ground I walk on and just because I helped free their place. Okay, so the truth is I was sitting in stealth the whole time, but we don't have to bore them with details do we? *looks around sneakily*

My guardian friend (not Wyn, she totally fails), the one who always tanks stuffs for me so I can go and do my thing behind them (like stab them in the back repeatedly)... Anyway, my guardian friend...let's call him 'G', he obviously went ahead and really helped fight those mean half-orcs, but come on! I could get that crazy fire-wound thing on me, and that hurts! So, no way!

Hmmm...my tummy still feels somewhat empty... I wonder if I can procure some more food, if need be I'll just burgle someone... And after that it's time for sleep I guess...so for today, that's it.

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.


Ravanel said...

*feeds a cookie to Wynniekins*

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