Time for luncheon?

Friday, 30 March 2012

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 68 Burglar, Gilrain

Dear Diary,

Ithil, crazy minstrel extraordinaire, told me a story today...a story that either goes to show that I was right when I said I wouldn't join her and Wyn in the Great River region...or it's a clear sign that she's gone loopy. According to her, she went and fought a Nazgûl yesterday... So either she's incredibly brave or incredibly stupid...your choice. Of course there's the other option of her being insane, wouldn't surprise me with the company she's keeping. That burg she hangs out with is just creepily OP!

Anyway, I'm digressing. So she was walking through this swamp with her Dunlanding friend...the reed there is twice Ithil's height, so not gonna go there myself... So they were walking and chatting about this legend (Ithil told me all about it but I kinda dozed off) and suddenly part of their morale bar (what's that anyway?) goes all red like something dreadful is going to happen... And up pops Mr Ring-wraith and they have to fight it. And Ithil tries to tell me that they survived that...as if!

And after all this, she and her crazy burg friend went and killed some giant spiders, trolls and WALKING TREES! Insane people! And tomorrow they intend to go into Mirkwood and fight another Nazgûl... You know something, I'd rather go without supper than do something so insanely stupid!

Speaking of food, it's time for luncheon, so I think I better hurry.

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.

What's for second breakfast?

Thursday, 29 March 2012

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 68 Burglar, Gilrain

Dear Diary,

I was woken by a 'little' girl, or boy...can't be sure with those little big people... Anyway, I was woken by the little brat who apparently lost, and get this, a toy! What am I? Lost and found?

So I told the kid that I wasn't in the business of finding toys, unless they're made of gold and then I wouldn't necessarily return them, and all I got was a tearful, "But I want my ball back!"

I explained that I'd only just woken up and that a hobbit simply couldn't function without breakie. The kid's face suddenly lit up and he/she produced some blueberry muffins and a meat pie. "My mommy told me to give you this..." Blackmailed by a kid. Just brilliant.

But who could resist muffins and pie? Sure, I'd have preferred some Lothlórien Waybread (and don't give me that 'one small bite' nonsense, I always have at least one or two whole ones) but the kid's mum is an awesome cook. Much better than Gilerian...

So I go and find out that a crow flew off with the kid's ball. A CROW?! Didn't take me long to find the real culprit and after some running around and silly chores, things ended as they always seem to do lately. With some nice back-stabbing action and the subsequent demise of Mr Crazy Crow-guy.

And the best thing is that I got back to Galtrev just in time for second breakfast... So, what's on the menu today?

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.

Did someone say pie?

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Introductory diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, currently level 68 Burglar, Gilrain

Dear Diary,

My name is Wynniekins Cutthroat, and I am a hobbit of the Shire. I like food, and I especially like food that I just stole from someone else. Saves me the effort of actually making munchies you see... I also like sleeping, and food...did I mention that I like food? What can I say, I'm a growing hobbit. And if you even think that I'm growing...sideways... Or that I might be a little PODGE! Let me just say that I'll stab you in the back and you won't even see me coming.

Because I'm a burglar. And unlike all the other lame hobbits in the Shire, I like adventures. And shinies. And shiny food... Eh...

I'm friends with elves (there's that Wyn person, and Squirrel...I mean Isquariel, and Gilerian is quite cool as well) and humans (well, one human...Ithilwen, she thinks she's a pro healer, but I know better) and I CAN'T STAND DWARVES!!! They are supposed to be small, but they are still taller than me, what's that all about?!

I currently quest in a place called Dunland, because people there are even lazier than my old gaffer and can't get anything done without a hobbit's help. If they think I give all the shinies I get while killing their enemies to them, they have another one coming... But they give me pies, and pies are good... Oh wait, someone's just called me to dinner... *runs off*

One hour later...

*rubs belly* That was really good... I've to give it to these ridiculously tall people, they do know how to cook. Though I'm not sure I want to know what that meat was... Gilerian told me that there's some things out there, that I might not wish to know. I think she was talking about her own cookery, but that's beside the point. Or maybe she just didn't want to explain to me why she has to have a whole menagerie of pets. She does too... Silly Lore-mistress...

Ithilwen (also known as Ithil or mini-moo or silly human) told me she got some sweet bling down in Stangard and suggested I should make haste and get there myself. Yeah right, why would I do that? I don't know if those Rohirrim will feed me! But in Galtrev...people basically worship the ground I walk on and just because I helped free their place. Okay, so the truth is I was sitting in stealth the whole time, but we don't have to bore them with details do we? *looks around sneakily*

My guardian friend (not Wyn, she totally fails), the one who always tanks stuffs for me so I can go and do my thing behind them (like stab them in the back repeatedly)... Anyway, my guardian friend...let's call him 'G', he obviously went ahead and really helped fight those mean half-orcs, but come on! I could get that crazy fire-wound thing on me, and that hurts! So, no way!

Hmmm...my tummy still feels somewhat empty... I wonder if I can procure some more food, if need be I'll just burgle someone... And after that it's time for sleep I guess...so for today, that's it.

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.