Welcome to Rohan!

Monday, 26 November 2012

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 78 Burglar, Gilrain

Dear Diary,

I'm in Rohan, Diary. Not because I changed my mind about going there, oh no. But I've been receiving more and more messages from the inhabitants of Langhold, basically begging me to come and help them as they had this crazy minstrel passing through who wreaked havoc...I wonder who that was...and offering lots and lots of pies and cookies. I couldn't say no to that, could I?

So I grabbed G by his pointy ears and off we went to...Caras Galadhon? Seems Galadriel wanted to chat to us some, and nice hobbit that I am, I let her. Who knew we'd get food and stuffs out of it? Made me very happy indeed. Then we headed off downriver, stopped at Stangard to pick up Horn...Nona was totally nonchalant about it, but I wonder if those two...and finally we reached the East Wall and the Argonath.

The whole place was overrun by orcs, but G and I sent them packing. We also did a bit of sightseeing, for example we went up to Amon Hen and I sat in the Seat of Seeing with G standing guard...well, he is a guardian after all. We also saw the Falls of Rauros and the lawn of Parth Galen where we met a party of adventurers from Gondor.

Unfortunately said adventurers were a bit crappy and got us to free their dwarven friend from his Uruk Hai captors...and obviously they also forgot to mention the Nazgûl we inevitably ran into... Why oh why are there so many idiots in Middle-earth? Doesn't matter. After the Ring-wraith had been dealt with, we stumbled upon this cave, and found this baby bog-lurker...so cute! G mumbled something like 'both of you are' but when I asked him to repeat that, he wouldn't. Maybe because I was pointing my dagger at him...silly elf!

Having a bite to eat at the Thane's house.

But I hadn't forgotten all the letters and obviously wanted to pick up all the promised food, eh... I mean I really wanted to help the good people of Langhold, so off we went and found that the children in Rohan are like totally tough. Where a little hobbit would cry when he or she got punted all over the place, Rohirrim children love that kind of thing. And they thought that I would like it as well. I think parenting classes are in order...just saying.

Somewhere, somehow, something went seriously wrong in their upbringing...

All was going rather well until some insane person thought it'd be a great idea to invite the Nazgûl that had previously destroyed the town over to 'talk things over'. Guess how that ended, Diary. Give you a hint, we're all stranded in Harwick... But at least I got a nice war-pony out of it. Take the good with the bad, as I like to say...unless the bad is bad food.

Speaking of which, I'm off to grab some munchies now, so I shall speak to you later, Diary! Oh, but before I forget, apparently the Squirrel is now all Rohirrim as well and reached something 85 or other. Whatever...

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.

Rohan Awaits

Saturday, 3 November 2012

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 75 Burglar, Gilrain

Dear Diary,

Rohan awaits...and as far as I'm concerned it can wait a while longer. I'm still recovering from all the festivals we've had recently so there's no way I'm going somewhere I have to do chores again. And according to Ithil the chores in Rohan are...somewhat special.

So for the time being I'm sitting tight in Galtrev enjoying the hospitality and hero worship of the Dunlanding and endure the babble of Miss Crazy Minstrel. And babble she does, all the time and every flipping day since she went south. Can't she, you know, just stay there and leave a recuperating hobbit alone? Wishful thinking, I know.

So apparently she got this letter about two weeks ago summoning her to Langhold. If they're asking her for help, they must be really desperate. So she went there, killed some salamanders and bandits, found a Fell-beast and while she was cuddling it, its Nazgûl owner and his Easterling friends burned down the town. Well done, fail mini! But clearly the Rohirrim are used to their livelihoods going up in flames...ever heard of brick buildings and roof tiles?...so they weren't too upset at all, just asked her to help re-home them. Next thing people will ask us to rebuild towns singlehandedly...

So off she went to Harwick and got a new horse! And not just any horse, a war steed! For what exactly? Making sure that a town got destroyed? Well, go you! But it turned out that the new horsie wasn't quite as easy to handle as her previous mounts, so she had to take some lessons in riding again. Pathetic! I'm sure I won't need that when I get there. Because I'm awesome and she's just...not.

On and on she rambled about once again following the Fellowship's path and 'seeing' how Boromir lost the plot and tried to take the ring off of Frodo. I think she is delusional! And then she moved on to save various Thanes, met gigantic spiders and walking trees...I'm not going to Rohan, ever...and eventually travelled to Edoras to meet Théoden King and more importantly a girl called Éowyn. She seemed really happy about that for some reason.

Ithil and her new best friend, Éowyn

At this point though she became rather quiet and I had to prod her several times until she finally told me all about the stupid town she's now rebuilding. And with that she killed my last shred of desire to see the Land of the Horse-lords. Hytbold can find some other idiot to rebuild it. I'm out. So long. No more chores for this hobbit!

So while Ithil is running around doing chores and rebuilds silly towns, I'm munching on muffins and pies. And as I said, Rohan may await my arrival, but it can wait for a long long time!

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.