Festivals in Rohan?

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 75 Burglar, Gilrain

Dear Diary,

Wynnie is lazy! There's no other way of stating it. She is bloody lazy! Just because she's on holiday doesn't mean she can skip out on her secretarial duties. But obviously she is of a different opinion. The nerve! And there is so much I have to tell you about, dearest Diary, I don't quite know where to start. Then again...

If Wynnie is lazy...which she is...then Ithil is crazy! Apparently something called NDA has been lifted so she suddenly started telling us all stories of her time in Rohan. First we all thought she'd gone down the deep end, but then others began talking about the same stuff... So apparently she went somewhere called Bullroarer...good Hobbit name that...and entered the Eastermnet. She had fun with Fellbeasts and their owners, palled around with the Fellowship, and topped it all off with the most idiotic thing ever. She went and jumped off a massive waterfall! Intentionally! Diary, I think she should seek out some professional help... These constant attempts to kill herself can't be good.

All in all, Ithil decreed Rohan to be absolutely awesome and promised that I'd love my war pony. Hang on, war pony?! She just giggled... And proceeded to babble about a burned-down town we would have to help rebuild like it was a good thing. It totally is not. Rebuilding stuff always involves something I'm trying to avoid at all costs...chores! I've only just escaped Hengstacer Farm, I'm not prepared to go back to doing the work other people just can't be bothered to do! Meh!

Anyway...so Ithil was doing her crazy-person stuff and also played about in Orthanc and Gilly was chasing purple skies... No really, the sky really was purple, or so she says. She said she was just riding around in Enedwaith, talking to crazy and less-crazy dwarves, and all of a sudden she looked up and saw the most beautiful sky ever. Silly elves. Looking at the sky when they should be seeking out the next meal! No wonder they're so skinny...

I'm not a silly elf. I'm a hobbit and I know what's good. And I say food and drink and festivities are very good indeed. Which is why I was...and still am...in the only place to be. The Party Tree! Occasionally I pop off to Bree, Thorin's and Celondim to do some fishing or find things people have misplaced, but generally I'm very much back home. For as long as the festival is on. After that I'll be going on my adventures again. Being back is nice, but after a while the Shire becomes a bit...too cheerful and too quiet and I have to leave to see the world once more.

For now though I'm happy to help Foxglove Tunnelly and Melilot Hayward with their lost things, though when it comes to Meliot's food...well...I might not be returning all of it... But she's a silly hobbit to leave food lying about the Shire. Doesn't she know what hobbits are like? We like to snack! And Mosco Smallburow is just as careless. I kinda feel for him...being dragged underwater by a fish isn't nice, but I'm still not returning all of his lunch to him. I'm a growing hobbit after all.

I'm not touching Ambi's concoctions though. Who knows what the silly dwarf put into those bottles. Nor will I leaf through Lalfor's books. Reading always makes me sleepy. And apparently that's true for him as well, or why would he constantly lose his stuff?

All my good deeds have netted me quite a few Summer Festival Tokens so I was able to splash out on my new pretty pony and some lovely new clothes. Aren't I the cutest hobbit ever?

And before I forget... Santhea, aka the Mistress of Purple Lightning, may her reign last forever and all that, is freezing her tender butt off on Hoth but is now 41. And she has caught the eye of some sort of medic called Talos Drellik...not sure what Mr Pirate has to say to that...

Oh, fresh pies have just come out of the oven, so I must run! Talk to you soon, Diary!

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.


Danania said...

I laughed. I cried. It was better than Cats.

Ravanel said...

I'm really happy you are still around, Wynniekins! I agree with you, there's definitely some professional help needed for that weird Ithil person. Luckily there are decent hobbits such as you around. ^^

And what an amazing dress you got there, it suits you well. :)

Wynnie said...

@Danania: The laughing I understand, but why did you cry?! That's not good... Hmmm, here, have a pie!

@Rava: It's that Wynnie, I'm telling you...and she's been on holiday AGAIN! How dare she! I've given up on Ithil I think, she's just... *shrugs* And thank you, Wynnie may call you 'Nemesis', but you're cool!

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