Rohan Awaits

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 75 Burglar, Gilrain


Dear Diary,

Rohan awaits...and as far as I'm concerned it can wait a while longer. I'm still recovering from all the festivals we've had recently so there's no way I'm going somewhere I have to do chores again. And according to Ithil the chores in Rohan are...somewhat special.

So for the time being I'm sitting tight in Galtrev enjoying the hospitality and hero worship of the Dunlanding and endure the babble of Miss Crazy Minstrel. And babble she does, all the time and every flipping day since she went south. Can't she, you know, just stay there and leave a recuperating hobbit alone? Wishful thinking, I know.

So apparently she got this letter about two weeks ago summoning her to Langhold. If they're asking her for help, they must be really desperate. So she went there, killed some salamanders and bandits, found a Fell-beast and while she was cuddling it, its Nazgûl owner and his Easterling friends burned down the town. Well done, fail mini! But clearly the Rohirrim are used to their livelihoods going up in flames...ever heard of brick buildings and roof tiles?...so they weren't too upset at all, just asked her to help re-home them. Next thing people will ask us to rebuild towns singlehandedly...

So off she went to Harwick and got a new horse! And not just any horse, a war steed! For what exactly? Making sure that a town got destroyed? Well, go you! But it turned out that the new horsie wasn't quite as easy to handle as her previous mounts, so she had to take some lessons in riding again. Pathetic! I'm sure I won't need that when I get there. Because I'm awesome and she's just...not.

On and on she rambled about once again following the Fellowship's path and 'seeing' how Boromir lost the plot and tried to take the ring off of Frodo. I think she is delusional! And then she moved on to save various Thanes, met gigantic spiders and walking trees...I'm not going to Rohan, ever...and eventually travelled to Edoras to meet Théoden King and more importantly a girl called Éowyn. She seemed really happy about that for some reason.

Ithil and her new best friend, Éowyn

At this point though she became rather quiet and I had to prod her several times until she finally told me all about the stupid town she's now rebuilding. And with that she killed my last shred of desire to see the Land of the Horse-lords. Hytbold can find some other idiot to rebuild it. I'm out. So long. No more chores for this hobbit!

So while Ithil is running around doing chores and rebuilds silly towns, I'm munching on muffins and pies. And as I said, Rohan may await my arrival, but it can wait for a long long time!

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.