Goats, Deeds and a Very Lazy Guardian

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 75 Burglar, Gilrain


Dear Diary,

Summer is officially over I think. Well, at least the Summer Festival is, and I have detected a slight chill in the air this morning before I went and invited myself to breakfast at the Cotton's home. But while hobbit cooking is pretty much the best and our partying skills are topped by no one, it's high time for me to venture into the wide expanses of Middle-earth once more.

I think I'll join my friends in Galtrev again... The food there was quite nice and I still have to convince the Prince of Rohan and his riders that I am a most trustworthy hobbit indeed. And if that means that I have to steal, eh, borrow Punctured Shields and things like that from Ithil and so on, that's fine by me.

Speaking of the crazy minstrel...she spent the best part of a day near Gondamon the other day, murmuring over and over about some silly goat and Buried Treasure Tokens. Apparently something's going on in the Low Lands that involves, and get this Diary, collecting berries for a cave-claw. So it's not enough that the people of every village I go to want me to do their chores for them. Now the local wildlife have jumped on that particular bandwagon as well. No thank you! If Ithil wants to chase after treasure, fine. I shall sit tight where I am and enjoy the scenery.

Goats...bah! So while Ithil was 'enjoying' the Treasure Hunt and her growing obsession with mounts, Wyn finally caught up with Brogur in the Deep Way and helped him defend the dwarves from huge frogs and a generous helping of goblins and orcs. The poor dwarf only had to wait three years for her to show up... Afterwards, she went and chatted to Mr Arrogance himself, Haldir, Marchwarden of Lothlórien...and I think she stayed longer than she had to. I wonder if she, you know, 'likes' him...


Shiny cloak looks better on me than Wyn And once she was done with Mr Pointy-Ear and Sharp-Tongue, she lulled my good friend Tickly Tickles into a false sense of security and got her to kill stuffs in something called New Devilry. Whatever that is, it doesn't sound very inviting. However, I heard that one of my favourite cloaks comes from there...the Cloak of Shadow and Flame. Shiny that. At the end of it all, she got something called Heart of Fire and was very happy about it. See, I'd be happy if I got pies...

And since I'm a sensible hobbit, I also stayed behind when everyone ran off to kill worms, giants, trolls and whatever else they felt like slaying for those strange deed things. Someone even told me to get some more Determination and I sat them down and explained to them that I was as determined as can be...determined to get the next meal and then some. I got a shrug in return and a mumbled 'suit yourself'. There's weird people in this, our Middle-earth...

Ithil just told me that the Harvestmath Festival is due to start on Monday...I believe that when I see it. But if it does start, I will camp out in Bree-land this time. I've had a bit too much of the happy-go-lucky hobbitness in the Shire and need some diversity in my life. Also, say what you will about the Bree-landers, they cook nice food.

Speaking of which, I think my lunch is ready, so see you later, Diary...and who knows, maybe next time it will be at the next Festival...

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.

A Quiet Summer of Chores?

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 75 Burglar, Gilrain


Dear Diary,

How could you?! I turn my back on you for...okay, it was quite some time, but still... And what do you do? You run off with the crazy minstrel! Her of all people! I had a massive go at her and in the end we sort of agreed to disagree. She thinks I abandoned you and said if she sees you lying about, she would keep you company. Eventually though, she promised she would only ever 'borrow' you at festival times when I'm 'otherwise engaged', but still...

And then Wynnie was too lazy to write anything because of something called 'football'...what is that anyway? Once again, dear Diary, I am forced to come to but one conclusion...I'm surrounded by idiots! Well, not completely surrounded, there are some really nice peeps out there too, but you get my meaning...

Anyway, let me tell you about going home to the Shire and the festivities there. I don't think I've seen so much food and drink anywhere else in Middle-earth. Hobbits are the best! However, after visiting Moria I have to admit...grudgingly I might add...that dwarves are a close second when it comes to foodstuffs. But we're still the best, so hah!

I ate and drank and sang, and even went riding a bit, but when I saw little Miss Perfect's (also known as Ithilwen, Diary Thief) new horse I knew it wasn't for me. A Rohan theme? No thank you! But it seems I can't avoid Rohan despite my efforts to have a quiet and comfortable summer.

I received a letter summoning me to Combe. As it's a little village just north of Staddle and I just happened to be there anyway to visit some friends (who've left the Shire years ago to live in the more adventurous world of the Big Folk), I went there. What's the worst that could happen in Bree-land, eh? I think I must have been suffering from amnesia or something like that... Clearly I didn't think of Black Riders and Rangers turning into wraiths.

But 'luckily' it wasn't Nazgûl that were waiting for me in Combe. It was a wandering horse. And as it turned out, the stable hand in Combe was unable to take care of a horse...because he's a wuss! You probably can tell where this is going, dear Diary. Who was asked to do chores again? Me! I had to go find straw, I had to see to the new horseshoes. Me!

And now I'm sitting around at Hengstacer Farm looking after even more horses! What happened to my quiet summer?! At least Emma Rosethorn is a good cook... Positive thinking, Diary...

Ithil visits me at times, as does Wyn. They, too, have been asked to help with the chores, so at least I'm not alone. And yesterday Varnie popped up all giddy because she finally reached some sort of level cap of 65. She wasn't all that happy anymore after I pointed out that I was 75, even though I still don't know what that means. And after I said that soon we'd be able to be 85 she looked quite suicidal...oh well.

So off she went to Dunland, with a quick detour to Harndirion to pick up some armour, and if I don't hear from her again, I'll just assume that she go herself killed. Or that she's gonna sit around moping for years again.

Oh, Emma just called me to lunch so I better run. And Diary...don't you go wandering off to Minstrels again!

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.

A Short Break

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 70 Burglar, Gilrain


Dear Diary,

I managed to convince G to lay low for a bit and just enjoy the hospitality of all the lovely people in Galtrev. Because I really REALLY don't want to go to that boggy place. Eeky wet and smelly places aren't my idea of a fun outing, so I'm gonna stall for as long as possible. And believe me, I'm the master of excuses...

But you know, it's not just that I don't like swamps... Squirrel, eh, I mean Isquariel went there yesterday and the stories she was telling me were just...gross. She said the slugs are bigger than me, not to mention the turtles and avancs... But those aren't the worst of it.

Apparently someone conducted scientific experiments and created mutant orcs and trolls. And while that sounds really intriguing, I'd rather study them from afar. And Galtrev is just about far enough... Ithil told me not to be a baby about it and that it's just like DN. That DN place sounds like something to avoid at all costs!

However it's something else my Rune-Keeper friend said that really freaked me out... She went to Tâl Methedras yesterday but wouldn't tell me why or what she did there. All I got was a cryptic, "Wait and see for yourself." So of course I'm a bit psyched because it sounds bad... But there's something else. I get the feeling I'm doing the exact same stuff she did before...WHY?!

While I was pondering, and munching, Wyn the Crazy showed up and told me she defeated Saruman again. Firstly...AGAIN?! And secondly...there's professionals that deal with insanity, right? I think I have to get her some help and fast...

Why is it, dear diary, that I'm the only sane person around? And where, pray tell, is my lunch?

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.