Festivals Yay, Chores Nay!

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 95 Burglar, Gilrain


Dear Diary,

They did it again. They ... well, I don't quite know who they are, but they made me do chores and those weird quest things again. I had such a great old time, prancing about the Shire and Winterhome, gathering up new ponies and eating my fill. It was good fun as well, I'm telling you, Diary. Food, drink and merriment at every other corner. And I even got to act again. Oh yes. I'm a little actress and I did a fantastic job. Just like last year.

I also went sightseeing. It's fun after all, and gets you away from annoying minstrels and crazy lore-mistresses. So I went to the Misty Mountains and visited my good friends the goblins. They were building nice fires for me to keep warm and also cooked me stuffs. Though I have to say it didn't exactly taste all that great. Oh well...

And I did my best to ignore certain bits of mail in my mailbox. Ithil's been chattering about Edoras, and problems in Western Rohan, but I ignored her. I also ignored that weird Gillyweed person who was babbling inanely (like always) about her uber ratsnest (bog lurker) and this song called "Ring of Fire". I think it was a song at least. Anyway, so I'm digressing. I ignored them. I'm good at that. I simply sharpened my daggers a bit. Or ate another pie or two. Or, yes, three.

But then G came up to me, sat down and handed me a cake. At this point, dear Diary, I should have known something was up and I wouldn't like it. He smiled all sweetly like and announced that while Snowbourn was nice and all, he was growing restless. An elf. Restless. The thought! They sit around for hundreds of years doing nothing, but being in Snowie for all of six months is too long for Master Pointy Ears. The gall! He waved this letter in front of me then, and a map, saying we should maybe check out what was across the river. The river we were not so long ago told to not cross on pain of death. I told him he was crazy. And still somehow found myself in the little town of Entwade. Rohirrim and their naming of places. It sure is impressive. Not.

And after lots of running around, and chores, and killing things that apparently needed killing, we ended up at the Hornburg in Helm's Deep. Now I don't know for sure, but I think something bad's gonna happen here pretty darn soon. But that's for another day I think. Because now Megilieth decided to join us out here in Rohan, and she can have the limelight for all I care. I'll just go and find something to eat.

Speaking of which, my dear friends Corudan and Horn have made me some munchies, so I'm off. Talk to you later.

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.

Festivals, Steeds, and 85...

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 85 Burglar, Gilrain


Dear Diary,

Wow, it has indeed been a while, hasn't it, dearest Diary? A lot has happened, lots of food has found its way into my tummy, and Ithil has fallen in love with a mountain. Not any mountain...the Lonely Mountain. Something about an old smelly dwarf who used to live there or some other insane stuffs, but more later. After all, this is my diary, so I'll first tell you about me.

Well, where to begin? I've had a most fabulous winter. The Yule Festival was simply divine and I ate so much food they had to roll me out of the theatre on one occasion. I build more snowmen than I thought any hobbit ever could, spread cheer amongst snowbeasts, killed off grims and woodtrolls and generally had a blast. Obviously Ithil had an even better time, or so she will tell you if you ask her...and indeed if you don't. Yes, she got not only a new horsie...I did too...but also some stuff for her war-steed. Oh, I'm so very jealous, Mistress Fail Mini.

However, after getting my newest outfit...I don't look cute in it, by the way, so don't even think that!...I left for Galtrev. Can't have the people there forget their favourite hobbit. However, I had the sneaking suspicion that I left something in Frostbluff. Oh well, can't be all that important as I can't think what it could possibly be...

After all the partying and a very much needed break from adventuring, G dragged me off again. And we did it, Diary, we hit the magic number 85! Though I still don't know what the heck that means. But for some reason people in Snowbourn thought it was worth giving me cake, so it can't be all that bad.

Also, I get the feeling that Gilerian...you remember her, Diary, the pet-obsessed lore-mistress...anyway, she seems to have rules of her own that only apply to her and no one else.

She uses her horse in instances (this shall be known as Evidence Number 1 from now on).

I will look out for more hard evidence as time goes on, but let me just say she can apparently throw fireballs at enemies that are behind her! G has seen it!

Other than all of this, there is not much happening right now. A festival is going on again in Bree, with fireworks and lovely food and lots of envelopes flying around all over the place. Clearly the townsfolk don't know about the Shire Quick Post...maybe they should invest in some postal service as well. Just saying...

Oh yes, and then there's the matter of Ithil and her beloved mountain... But I shan't comment on it, just see for yourself.

Ithil was crying over some dwarf called 'Thorin', doesn't she know he lives in Thorin's Gate (or at least I think he does, it's named after him after all).

Right, lunch is being served at the Prancing Pony right now, and I don't want to let Barliman wait for me. That would be simply impolite. Enjoy your festival, Diary!

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.

Festivals in Rohan?

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 75 Burglar, Gilrain


Dear Diary,

Wynnie is lazy! There's no other way of stating it. She is bloody lazy! Just because she's on holiday doesn't mean she can skip out on her secretarial duties. But obviously she is of a different opinion. The nerve! And there is so much I have to tell you about, dearest Diary, I don't quite know where to start. Then again...

If Wynnie is lazy...which she is...then Ithil is crazy! Apparently something called NDA has been lifted so she suddenly started telling us all stories of her time in Rohan. First we all thought she'd gone down the deep end, but then others began talking about the same stuff... So apparently she went somewhere called Bullroarer...good Hobbit name that...and entered the Eastermnet. She had fun with Fellbeasts and their owners, palled around with the Fellowship, and topped it all off with the most idiotic thing ever. She went and jumped off a massive waterfall! Intentionally! Diary, I think she should seek out some professional help... These constant attempts to kill herself can't be good.

All in all, Ithil decreed Rohan to be absolutely awesome and promised that I'd love my war pony. Hang on, war pony?! She just giggled... And proceeded to babble about a burned-down town we would have to help rebuild like it was a good thing. It totally is not. Rebuilding stuff always involves something I'm trying to avoid at all costs...chores! I've only just escaped Hengstacer Farm, I'm not prepared to go back to doing the work other people just can't be bothered to do! Meh!

Anyway...so Ithil was doing her crazy-person stuff and also played about in Orthanc and Gilly was chasing purple skies... No really, the sky really was purple, or so she says. She said she was just riding around in Enedwaith, talking to crazy and less-crazy dwarves, and all of a sudden she looked up and saw the most beautiful sky ever. Silly elves. Looking at the sky when they should be seeking out the next meal! No wonder they're so skinny...

I'm not a silly elf. I'm a hobbit and I know what's good. And I say food and drink and festivities are very good indeed. Which is why I was...and still am...in the only place to be. The Party Tree! Occasionally I pop off to Bree, Thorin's and Celondim to do some fishing or find things people have misplaced, but generally I'm very much back home. For as long as the festival is on. After that I'll be going on my adventures again. Being back is nice, but after a while the Shire becomes a bit...too cheerful and too quiet and I have to leave to see the world once more.

For now though I'm happy to help Foxglove Tunnelly and Melilot Hayward with their lost things, though when it comes to Meliot's food...well...I might not be returning all of it... But she's a silly hobbit to leave food lying about the Shire. Doesn't she know what hobbits are like? We like to snack! And Mosco Smallburow is just as careless. I kinda feel for him...being dragged underwater by a fish isn't nice, but I'm still not returning all of his lunch to him. I'm a growing hobbit after all.

I'm not touching Ambi's concoctions though. Who knows what the silly dwarf put into those bottles. Nor will I leaf through Lalfor's books. Reading always makes me sleepy. And apparently that's true for him as well, or why would he constantly lose his stuff?

All my good deeds have netted me quite a few Summer Festival Tokens so I was able to splash out on my new pretty pony and some lovely new clothes. Aren't I the cutest hobbit ever?

And before I forget... Santhea, aka the Mistress of Purple Lightning, may her reign last forever and all that, is freezing her tender butt off on Hoth but is now 41. And she has caught the eye of some sort of medic called Talos Drellik...not sure what Mr Pirate has to say to that...

Oh, fresh pies have just come out of the oven, so I must run! Talk to you soon, Diary!

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.

Get Ready to Scramble!

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 75 Burglar, Gilrain


Dear Diary,

I'm thoroughly enjoying myself right now. The Faire is absolutely grand, though at nighttime, I always feel a bit...full. I hope I'm not turning into a glutton like the Mayor. That would be bad as I'm already looking forward to more adventuring. But for now, I'm still in the Shire, and Diary, I'm loving it.

I have also spoken to Little Miss Lazy, also known as Petunia Hornblower, and she is just... It's seriously unbelievable! I know laziness is an old Hobbit tradition, but she is taking it way too far! So initially she just wanted me to gather bait for her fishing extravaganza. Okay, fine, I can do that. Off I went, got some worms, and back I went to get my Farmers Faire Tokens... But no...

Suddenly she doesn't know how to hook the bait, tuh! And then she got all grossed out and asked me to do her fishing for her! The gall! So of course I went and did her fishing only to be degraded to delivery hobbit. Off to Hobbiton I went to meet Hal Hornblower. He said she was about the neediest person in the Shire and advised me to put my foot down. No more errands! And lo and behold, it worked. Petunia grumbled, but still handed over the Tokens. I will never talk to her again!

After I was done huffing and puffing, I decided to head to Sandson's Farm once more. And I have to say that chasing chicken around after Petunia chased me around...it felt really nice. I stayed there for an hour or two, enjoying the fun game of Egg Scramble, until I was told, politely, that I should stop frightening the living daylight out of the chicken. And that I should stop stealing the Festive Eggs. Whatever.

I was very rich in Faire Tokens upon my return to Bywater and decided to go shopping. The seamstresses have created the cutest outfit to match the Farmers Faire Steed, and I think I went a bit overboard with my shopping spree. But no matter. I'm a hobbit of good taste and good taste rarely is cheap.

Unfortunately, the Faire is only running until next Monday but luckily Ithil said it wouldn't be long until the Summer Festival. So yay for that!

In other, more boring news, Gilerian finally hit the big 75 and managed to somehow get people to take her to Isengard. So now she's the proud owner of a full Armour of the Iordúr set. No idea what that is, but she's happy. Of course now she's moaning that she has to run around all over the place to do deeds for virtues. Deeds I understand. But she completely lost me when she mentioned virtues. What are those? She just patted my head and wandered off. How dare she!

And the evil Sith sent a message that she is now 33 and still on Alderaan. Slacking much? Of course I'd never say that to her face...purple lightning and all that. But really, she is a bit...slow...

Right, I just smelled some freshly made pies, so I better run. Take care, Diary. Enjoy the last Faire days and I shall see you at the Summer Festival.

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.

I'm Sith and this is MY Diary

Diary entry by Santhea, Level 14 Sith Sorcerer, Tomb of Freedon Nadd


Diary!

Allow me to introduce myself to you, I am your new master. No more hobbits from that terribly cheerful 'Middle-earth', no. You are now dealing with the Dark and much more fun side of the Force. For I am Sith and I can ninja this diary if I want to, and whenever I want to! And if that little midget Wynniekins has a problem with is, let's see how she likes finding herself at the receiving end of purple lightning!

Right, so let's see. I am the latest, and best, addition to this disfunctional family of pointy ears, crazy humans and the occasional midget. But I don't roam the rolling hills of the Shire, or fight insane old men with a God-complex (but quite a sense of style...robes that change colour? Give!). Oh no. My home are the far reaches of the Galaxies, where war rages between the misguided fools of the Republic and the glorious forces of the Empire.

I have only recently joined the ranks of the Sith, having been a mere slave before, but I have already become an Apprentice to Lord Zash. She's...interesting to say the least and I am sure that I'll be able to learn a lot from her. I got to Dromund Kaas, seat of the Empire and the Order of the Sith, after spending time on Korriban, and achieved level 14 so far. After the dry desert, the jungle is a most brilliant hunting ground, and while some of my missions seem mundane, they all make me grow in power...and are quite lucrative as well.

I know there is still a long road ahead of me, and many skills still left to be learned, but I think I am on the right path. And if that path has to be littered with dead bodies, so be it!

Compared to my achievements, does it really matter that Ithilwen is working on killing Saruman on Tier 2 with her friends? Or that the Squirrel managed to get the fifth piece of her armour set? Or that Varnie and Gilerian have reached a new skill level? No it doesn't! And if you disagree, Diary, I'm sure you'd make for a nice little bonfire!

Apprentice Santhea, signing off to kill some more people.

Shades and Chores

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 69 Burglar, Gilrain

Dear Diary,

Ithil's madness has unfortunately spread to Gilerian. Now Miss Crazy Lore-mistress is convinced that she killed the Lieutenant of Dol Guldur yesterday, a Ring-wraith. I'm starting to see a trend here. Apparently it's IN amongst the insane population to off Nazgûl... Not my idea of fun, but if it makes them happy... Not that Gilly was particularly happy as the LT didn't drop his doormat...whatever.

However, it is not just the spreading insanity amongst my friends that I want to tell you about...it's my so-called friend G (the guardian I mentioned before). He had the brilliant idea of moving on to the Bonevales...idiotic elf! The main part of the population of that fun place is undead shades! And their favourite past-time seems to be turning hobbits either undead as well or, failing that, completely dead. We barely made it out of there...in time for tea! And missing meals is just rude.

And as if that hadn't been enough, G then suggested going to that FARM! I told him in no uncertain words that I don't do farms or chores. Why does he think I not only left the Shire but changed my name as well? So no one would ask why I wasn't back home on our stupid farm, that's why! But G said, no promised we wouldn't have to do any chores...

G is a bloody liar!

Okay, first we just had to help a few baddies on their journey to the afterlife...but then it was 'gather carrots', 'collect tanned hides and blankets', 'get wool of sheepsies' and lastly 'gather eggs'. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's CHORES! I gave Mr Pointy-Ear a piece of my mind and I bet his ears are still ringing!

Now we're sitting in this stupid little village and they're running late making dinner! I think I have to go and tell them that all those heroic deeds (like gathering eggs) make for one very hungry hobbit...

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.