Time Flies...

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 85 Burglar, Gilrain


Dear Diary,

Yes, time flies indeed when one is eating good food and enjoys the finer things in life. Like listening to Ithil's tales of grandeur in Erebor...yeah...no! One of these days, Diary, one of these days she will make the acquaintance of the business end of my dagger, and then there will be no more minstrelling! Annoying woman! Eh, I'm sorry you had to witness this, Diary, but she is really the bane of my existence. I don't require detailed descriptions of her exploits, I really don't. But obviously no one asks me. Oh no. Yes, well done her for being able to barter for First Age Symbols...whatever those are...but I don't need to hear about it day in, day out. I really don't.

Anyway...so yes. Ithil happened. But there were other things, much more pleasurable things as well. Festivals to be exact. Three of them if you're counting the one that is currently being celebrated all over Middle-earth. And I forgot to tell you anything about it. I am terribly sorry, Diary. But let me remedy that.

First of all, we celebrated an Anniversary of sorts. Six years of...something. I didn't really listen to the Festival Announcer but simply dug into food, drink and merriment as is my wont. I got the most amazing hat as you can see, and a beautiful pony. And a nifty backpack with fireworks just in case I need to fend off annoying minstrels. One cannot be prepared enough.

The Spring Festival brought with it the usual chores again, and some unusual ones as well. I had to help those blasted elven gardeners in Duillond with an infestation of shrews. Shrews, Diary! I suggested simply getting a cat, but they believed that stomping them was a much better way to get rid of them. Fools! But I helped, nice hobbit that I am. But in Bree I was asked to...to collect flowers. Now I love collecting flowers but to call that a chore?! Which they did. But I thoroughly enjoyed my hour of flower-picking, though I made sure to moan to the chap in Bree just so he gave me my hard-earned rewards.

Rewards including a lovely plate of cookies...that I was supposed to give to someone, but I'm a hobbit and cookies are food, and so the story goes. And a pony! And look, it matches my new cloak and dress! Isn't it pretty?

Right now, I'm enjoying the peace and quiet at the docks in Celondim, fishing and chatting to the local elves there. For some reason, they pay me for giving them certain types of fish, but hey, I'm not complaining. I shall tell you more about the Summer Festival soon, but for now, I've been called to breakfast. Enjoy your festival, Diary, and I shall talk to you later.

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.

And Then There Were None...

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 75 Burglar, Gilrain


Dear Diary,

I was already sleeping on Monday, slumbering peacefully and dreaming of pies and cakes and lovely things like that when I was woken by a positively giddy Ithil. Or as I'm calling her, and not just in my head but also to her face, inconsiderate, insane and impossible Ithilwen! Oh yes, alliterations are awesome, aren't they? Anyway, Ithil had just returned from Orthanc and they killed Saruman. Again. I was about to punch her. Or stab her in the back. 'No, no, no...' she said, 'you don't understand! We killed him on Tier 2 and almost got Challenge Mode as well.' Eh, what?! You killed him, good. That's all I need to know. Or rather, I don't! And most importantly, I don't need to be woken up because of stuffs like that!

But she continued her tale without paying any attention to me whatsoever. 'And we had to do it twice, because the first time round, we killed the last one, and then there were none, and then we had to use the rings, and then we suddenly died...' Hah! I bet it was all Ithil's fault as well! 'So we went again, and it all worked out great!' Yeah, yeah. Whatever! I had taken to playing with my daggers at that point, but did she take the hint? NO! However... After all the babbling of Orthanc, and Saruman and loot...I did listen to that bit very intently...she suddenly said, 'Oh, and the Festival is going on...' Woot?! And she doesn't tell me this immediately?! I don't flipping care about silly wizards, however festivals...that's different!

Ithil of course already got the steed and had to show it off and all, so I vowed to do better and not only get this year's new pony, but also the one I never bothered to get last year. I'm not gonna be beaten by some silly minstrel! So off I went to the Haunted Burrow, and I was somewhat frightened... But I'm a strong hobbit, and brave, so I stared down the spiders and other scary things and just kept going, finding hobbits, finding someone's lost items, finding... Hang on, they made me do chores again and I didn't even notice! Darn it!

I also went to the hobbit dances and learned the second hobbit dance, and then decided that after bobbing for apples, it was time to have a drink, or six...or...even more. So I talked to this hobbit from the Inn League, who invited me to share his ale, and who then sent me on a wild goose chase across the Shire and back. At the end of which I was...well...very happy indeed. However, I didn't want the dwarves of the Ale Association to feel left out, so I went to Bree and had some more drinks with them. Lots more. The world was a funny colour when it all ended. But oh well, the things one does to make everyone like you...

And finally I did it! I got both ponies. And if I say so myself, I look rather dashing on them. Wearing the matching dresses and cloaks of course. I'm a fashionable hobbit after all!

On my way to Hengstacer Farm, I found this pumpkin patch, and obviously couldn't quite resist picking a pumpkin or two. I think I'll carve it and put it in front of my tent to ward off silly minstrels who think it's a good idea to wake me in the night...

Right, off now to sample the food they have at the Festival Grounds. Enjoy your festival, Diary!

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.

New Ponies and Festivals

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 75 Burglar, Gilrain


Dear Diary,

I'm so very sorry...there was nothing I could do. That evil Santhea-person just took you from my hands and off she went. She was positively scary, there was purple lighting buzzing all around her and stuff. And when she brought you back, she told me she would get you again whenever she fancies. And I'm only little, I can't stand up to her. And even Wyn, who should be big and strong and brave and all that, even she was hiding away from the evil Sith-lord. Though...how can a girl be a lord I wonder...

Be that as it may, I do apologise. But I think it might be easier for all of us to just let her abuse you once in a while. Because otherwise...I don't even want to think about what she'd do to the both of us, dear Diary. I'm just glad she didn't burn you or anything like that...

Now where were we last time? Oh yes, I was telling you about that stupid horse at Hengstacer Farm... I'm still doing my chores there whenever I can, and so is Ithil. However, she was talking about some weird old man, dressed all in white and a nice white horsie called Shadowfax... I think she's delusional again. Got clobbered over the head one too many times or something like that. Wouldn't surprise me considering where she goes every week. And if you're wondering where, Diary, to Orthanc...that's where. She's still trying to defeat that Saruman on Tier Two (and I still don't know what that means). At least she managed Lightning and Fire and Frost this week...but as there are trolls and giants there, I wouldn't be surprised if they hit her over the head a bit...or a bit more.

I for one am enjoying the quiet life right now, although it will become a bit busier come tomorrow. The Farmer's Faire is coming to town, and it's my first year attending. I'm sure there will be lots of food, drink and music, and as you know, that's the sort of thing I love most. Well, that and a bit of burglary. But there's always a way to combine stuff, isn't there. I could, for example, burgle some food, right? Very excited, and I hope it will meet my high expectations...

Oh, and I received a gift today. I think Wynnie did something steamy, which netted all of us a new means of transportation...a new pony in my case. It's called Hazy and I just love it. It's just the cutest ever, just look at the way it blows 'steam' from its nostrils! I absolutely love it.

Hazy the Cute, also known as a Noble Grey Pony

Oh dear, it's getting late and I still have to do my chores before lunch. I really have to be off. And I promise, Diary, Santhea won't hurt you. She just wants to express herself and all her evilness. We just, you know, have to get to know her better, and maybe we can learn something from her in the end...

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.

I'm Sith and this is MY Diary

Diary entry by Santhea, Level 14 Sith Sorcerer, Tomb of Freedon Nadd


Diary!

Allow me to introduce myself to you, I am your new master. No more hobbits from that terribly cheerful 'Middle-earth', no. You are now dealing with the Dark and much more fun side of the Force. For I am Sith and I can ninja this diary if I want to, and whenever I want to! And if that little midget Wynniekins has a problem with is, let's see how she likes finding herself at the receiving end of purple lightning!

Right, so let's see. I am the latest, and best, addition to this disfunctional family of pointy ears, crazy humans and the occasional midget. But I don't roam the rolling hills of the Shire, or fight insane old men with a God-complex (but quite a sense of style...robes that change colour? Give!). Oh no. My home are the far reaches of the Galaxies, where war rages between the misguided fools of the Republic and the glorious forces of the Empire.

I have only recently joined the ranks of the Sith, having been a mere slave before, but I have already become an Apprentice to Lord Zash. She's...interesting to say the least and I am sure that I'll be able to learn a lot from her. I got to Dromund Kaas, seat of the Empire and the Order of the Sith, after spending time on Korriban, and achieved level 14 so far. After the dry desert, the jungle is a most brilliant hunting ground, and while some of my missions seem mundane, they all make me grow in power...and are quite lucrative as well.

I know there is still a long road ahead of me, and many skills still left to be learned, but I think I am on the right path. And if that path has to be littered with dead bodies, so be it!

Compared to my achievements, does it really matter that Ithilwen is working on killing Saruman on Tier 2 with her friends? Or that the Squirrel managed to get the fifth piece of her armour set? Or that Varnie and Gilerian have reached a new skill level? No it doesn't! And if you disagree, Diary, I'm sure you'd make for a nice little bonfire!

Apprentice Santhea, signing off to kill some more people.

A Festival of Creeps

Diary entry by Ithilwen, level 75 Minstrel, Gilrain


Dear Diary of Wynniekins,

You have been officially ninjaed. Or rather, I took you up when the silly hobbit discarded you so very carelessly at the sight of pies and ale and pipeweed. Yes, she's run off to the Party Tree, leaving a note to not disturb her for the next two weeks. And she left you as well, Diary... Sad, isn't it?

But I'm nice, despite the things Wynniekins says about me, and am going to keep you company until she returns. Exit silly hobbit, enter balanced human.


So pretty! And very well-behaved as well. So what have I been up to lately? Well, let me tell you. The Spring Festival has started and that means a new horse is out and has to be added to my collection. This time around, I had to win two races as opposed to the previous festivals and get 40 Spring Leaves. Not that this was really an issue as I had some left-over Leaves from last year, and winning horse races is not exactly hard.

So I went to the Shire and Bree and got my Race Tokens and did a few quests in the Hedge Maze and voilà, we have ourselves a new horsie. I'm really loving it as it foreshadows where we are going to head this autumn (or so I've been told). Simbelmynë are small white flowers that commonly grow on the barrows of the kings of Rohan and having a Simbelmynë Steed and matching tunics, dresses and cloaks is just lovely. The seamstresses must have been really busy.

I've also been rather mean to the hobbitses of the Shire, or more precisely, the blasted Inn League. Those awfully nice and lovey dovey hobbits make my skin crawl, so I made it my mission to sabotage them whenever and wherever possible. And it so happens that there are dwarves who share my feelings towards those...those midgets! Pesky little critters, the lot of them (well, maybe not Wynniekins, but I'm telling you that Frodo is seriously annoying and I only really talked to him once in Rivendell). So I joined the Ale Association and have the highest standing possible with them. They call me a Creep, and I'm proud of it!

Other than that, I have been killing real creeps in the Ettenmoors again. I really don't know what's going on there, but every time us Free Peoples turn our backs on that particular area of Eriador, the minions of Angmar overrun everything again. Including the keeps. But it's kinda fun to vanquish them as the more we kill, the better rewards we get from the lovely folk up in Glân Vraig. Not too long ago, I got a new horse from them for example, it's a bit slow but still very nice to look at. My friend Wyn isn't too happy about me having it though, she mumbled something about having wanted it for ages and some such. But it's not my fault that I go to the Moors and she isn't, is it? And they also give you titles...and right now I can't wait to finally reach enough standing with them to be called Lieutenant. Just think... Lieutenant Ithilwen. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

But I have to head off. There's more dark deeds to be done on behalf of my Dwarven friends, and more creeps to be killed. And maybe, just maybe I'll even have time to head back into the Tower of Orthanc. We shall see...

Ithilwen, riding off for now, but might be back later.

Festival time?

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 75 Burglar, Gilrain


Dear Diary,

It's spring time and I am beginning to wonder when we will be celebrating the coming of warner weather and longer days. The people of Stangard, nice as they are, have no clue how to put together a party. Not that I really blame them. Before I got there, they had rationing and all that 'good' stuff. Now they're slowly getting back on their feet, but a festival is probably not the most important thing on their minds.

So I will have to head back to Bree and the Shire. I have to admit I sometimes do miss the rolling hills of the Green Hill Country and the splashing of little hobbits in the Water. And at times I can't think of anything better than a pie and a glass of ale in the Green Dragon at the end of a long day avoiding doing chores...

Don't get me wrong, dear Diary, I'm not homesick and want to go back home all of a sudden. I still very much love my life as an adventurer, but times of festival should be spent amongst people who know how to celebrate in style. And when it comes to partying, eating and drinking, it's us hobbits that really know how to go about stuffs. So going home for the summer, eh, spring might be a good idea.

According to Miss Crazy Minstrel and her weird calendar, festivals should kick off next Thursday all over Middle-earth, so I'm really excited already as I might get a new pony from the races. And Ithil will definitely add the newest horse to her ever-growing collection. Seriously, I don't want to know how much she has to pay in upkeep for her stables...

Other than looking forward to the festivities, I was once again dragged into Orthanc...Acid is still a no-go. But Ithil said they made some good progress on Shadow, I guess that's at least something. And yesterday she went to the Ettenmoors to kill some evil creeps and apparently had lots of fun doing so.

But I'm really looking forward to tomorrow as we are going back to Mirkwood to visit the Lieutenant of Dol Guldur...hopefully he'll give us his lovely Unwelcome Mat this time around. Until then I will just sit quietly and eat the steaming pie someone just placed in front of me.

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.

Better than Bilbo!

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 75 Burglar, Gilrain


Dear Diary,

So on Saturday I was asked to come to Enedwaith and help defeat a dragon. Draigoch the Red has taken up residence in the mountains and all sorts of people are out to get him (or rather his treasure). When I heard the word 'dragon' my first thought was 'Bilbo!'

I grew up with stories of the Lonely Mountain, Esgaroth, and of course Smaug the Golden, and always thought Bilbo was the greatest hobbit ever! I mean, he was in the presence of a dragon and lived to tell the tale simply because he was so clever. Every year, my friends and I would beg Bilbo to tell us again of his adventures, and while he always complained in the end he always did.

And now it was apparently up to me to be the contracted Hobbit Burglar. I mean, if Bilbo Baggins could do it, so can Miss Wynniekins Cutthroat, right? First I tried to sneakily pinch the treasure chest, but it's quite big and heavy...and then there's all that gold at the bottom of the cave. I'm awesome, but I really couldn't carry all of that stuff off.

So we decided to fight him and whenever he fell down I was supposed to be something sneaky so some of us could do a coordinated attack on him. The pressure was something else... Luckily another burglar was with us, so we could alternate.

And finally it was done! Draigoch the Red was defeated, but not before killing the other burglar by bringing down the cave on top of his head. And I once again proved just how brave I am and climbed the dragon's corpse. And while no one was looking, I snuck three scales into my pocket...much better than some silly golden cup if I say so myself, Mr Baggins! But I was nice and let the Squirrel have them in the end. She's a very happy Runie now with a new and very shiny cloak.

And I'm running late for a barbecue, so I must away...

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.

A Tale of Acid, Shadow and a Cute Eagle

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 75 Burglar, Gilrain


Dear Diary,

I think G is actually quite okay at this whole tanking thing...at least he managed to keep those nasty monsters in the Experimentation Pit, Saruman's Throne Room and the Pinnacle of Orthanc away from me... Seriously though, is it really a good idea to poke your nose in the affairs of a wizard? I mean, look at those Baggins...

Then again...it was the stories of Mad Bilbo Baggins that made me want to go on adventures myself...that and the fact that Frodo still owed me a few gold coins for pranks played on his Sackville-Baggins relations... Owing money and then buggering off into the wild? Not on my watch! Though it took me a while to track him down, I finally got my money in Rivendell. But by that time I was already too wrapped up in adventures, and really not interested in chores...

However going back to the Tower of Isengard...that made me wonder. But I couldn't come up with any valid excuses not to go. I'd just eaten a lovely big lunch and the promise of shiny loot is very hard to resist if you're in that nice warm, full and half-asleep state after munchies. And to be honest, I did get some really nice shinies indeed. I'm now just one piece away from...some kind of awesome bonus. Um, whatever. I'm getting a bit confused when people talk to me about agility and such...always have to have a snack afterwards.

But really, it was quite satisfying to kill off the big bad Bukot, who'd been rather bad for my breathing while he'd been around. I mean, I totally get it. Toxic fumes are a great idea to weaken your enemies, but you can take it a bit far... Fumes that will kill you if you move? Really?! Silly...thing! Well, we showed him what we thought of his super awesome skills, and after he kicked the bucket, G was very happy to receive a new shield. I personally think that shields are for wussies, unless they are used as huge plates, then they are just brilliant. So while he was going on about how awesome the shield is, I sat down on my new chair...

I really thought this would be the end of Orthanc, dear Diary... But no. My friends decided we should visit with Saruman himself. You know, for tea or something. We learnt that a) Saruman apparently doesn't do tea, and b) that he really is a scary wizard kinda person. But he's completely off the rocker! I have been told that Sauron in Mordor is THE Ring-maker around. So if you ever want a ring made to dominate others, he's your go-to guy (if you dare to go to him that is). But Mr Crazy Wizard thinks he's a Ring-maker as well. Setting himself up for a world of pain there I'd say. About the same as stealing someone's last bag of Old Toby...

So yeah, it was less teatime, and more killing time up on top of the Tower. And I'm telling you, it's very high! I think I may be suffering from vertigo... Especially after I was being flown off the Tower! But I can't really be mad at the cute Lord of the Eagles who was really happy to see another hobbit and who confirmed all the stories Mad Bilbo would tell us. I think he liked G as well, at least he was eying G with lots of interest...then again, maybe he was hungry...

So there you have it, dear Diary. My first time in the Tower...but I've been told that every monster will be back next week so we can go again. Saruman is a necromancer! I'm so scared, I think I need to go eat!

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.