Shades and Chores

Diary entry by Wynniekins Cutthroat, level 69 Burglar, Gilrain

Dear Diary,

Ithil's madness has unfortunately spread to Gilerian. Now Miss Crazy Lore-mistress is convinced that she killed the Lieutenant of Dol Guldur yesterday, a Ring-wraith. I'm starting to see a trend here. Apparently it's IN amongst the insane population to off Nazgûl... Not my idea of fun, but if it makes them happy... Not that Gilly was particularly happy as the LT didn't drop his doormat...whatever.

However, it is not just the spreading insanity amongst my friends that I want to tell you about...it's my so-called friend G (the guardian I mentioned before). He had the brilliant idea of moving on to the Bonevales...idiotic elf! The main part of the population of that fun place is undead shades! And their favourite past-time seems to be turning hobbits either undead as well or, failing that, completely dead. We barely made it out of there...in time for tea! And missing meals is just rude.

And as if that hadn't been enough, G then suggested going to that FARM! I told him in no uncertain words that I don't do farms or chores. Why does he think I not only left the Shire but changed my name as well? So no one would ask why I wasn't back home on our stupid farm, that's why! But G said, no promised we wouldn't have to do any chores...

G is a bloody liar!

Okay, first we just had to help a few baddies on their journey to the afterlife...but then it was 'gather carrots', 'collect tanned hides and blankets', 'get wool of sheepsies' and lastly 'gather eggs'. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's CHORES! I gave Mr Pointy-Ear a piece of my mind and I bet his ears are still ringing!

Now we're sitting in this stupid little village and they're running late making dinner! I think I have to go and tell them that all those heroic deeds (like gathering eggs) make for one very hungry hobbit...

Wynniekins Cutthroat, signing off.